Talking of (not 'to') trees
It's the druids' annual contest to elect a new druid to the
circle.
After a grueling ordeal there is only one left
He has answered every conceivable question on Druidic lore
that the other
druids can think of. What they are soon realizing is that
they will have to
elect a smart-arsed know-it-all to the circle and are not
happy about it.
They eventually decide to trick him.
They blindfold him, to a clearing, spin him round five times
to disorient
and walk him for ten miles, spin him again him and remove
the blindfold.
He finds himself in a nearly circular clearing some 300
yards wide. In the
centre of the clearing is a single tree, which he
immediately identifies -
correctly - as a 159 ft, 210 yr old Oak, with a family of
squirrels living
in it, and a touch of rot to its third main branch up.
He is told that to pass the test, he must - without touching
the tree -
determine which is its front and which is its back
His brow furrows and a look of puzzlement comes on his face
The druids silently rejoice
He walks slowly up to the tree, and examines it in great
detail, walks
slowly round it, then come back to the waiting druids.
He calmly states that the side facing them is the front of
the tree.
They are stumped, and ask him HOW he can be so certain.
His reply
"Oh, Easy - someone's had a sh1t behind it"
-----Original Message-----
From: MS Excel General Q & A List [mailto:EXCEL-G PEACH.EASE.LSOFT.COM] On
Behalf Of Don Guillett
Sent: 13 April 2007 18:03
To: EXCEL-GPEACH.EASE.LSOFT.COM
Subject: OT: Friday Humor (In keeping with our new PC
guidelines)
Two Tall Trees
It is hard to find a joke today without a dirty word or two
in it, but
here is one: Yes, it is true, I am sending a joke that is
very funny and
does not contain a single dirty word.
Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the
woods. A
small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says
to the
birch, Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch? The
birch says he
cannot tell.
Just then a woodpecker lands on the little sapling. The
birch says,
Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a
son of a
beech or a son of a birch?
The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree. He replies,
It is
neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch. It is,
however,the best
piece of ash I have ever put my pecker in.
Wipe that smile off your face!!!
Don Guillett
SalesAid Software
dguillett1austin.rr.com
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