Husband and wife in bed together.
She feels his hand rubbing her shoulder.
She: "Oh, that feels good."
His hand moves to her breast.
She: "Gee, honey, that feels wonderful."
His hand moves to her leg.
She: "Oh, honey, don't stop."
But he stops.
She: "Why did you stop?"
He: "I found the remote."
__________________________________________
The Best Road Rage Story
An honest man was being tailgated by a stressed-out woman on
a busy
boulevard. Suddenly, the traffic light turned yellow just in
front of
him.
The man did the right thing stopping at the crosswalk even
though he
could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the
intersection.
The tailgating woman hit the roof - and the horn - screaming
in
frustration as she missed her chance to get through the
intersection.
As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window
and looked
up into the face of a very serious police officer. The
officer ordered her
to exit her car with her hands in the air.
He took her to the police station where she was searched,
finger
printed, photographed and placed in a holding cell. After a
couple of
hours, a
policeman approached the cell and opened the door.
She was escorted back to the booking desk where the
arresting officer was
waiting with her personal effects.
He said, "I'm very sorry for this mistake. You see, I
pulled up behind
your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the
guy in front
of
you, and cussing a blue streak at him. I noticed the 'Choose
Life' license
plate holder, the 'What Would Jesus Do' bumper sticker, the
'Follow Me to
Sunday School' bumper sticker, and the chrome-plated
Christian fish emblem
on
the trunk. Naturally, I assumed you had stolen the
car."
Priceless
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